After I published this "Anne and God" comic I thought to myself "Why get the almighty involved in this - I need to write Ms. Wang directly."
It seems only fair. You know, in case God takes me too seriously and sends some locusts to Ms. Wang's house on my behalf.
Dear Vera,
I am a woman.
I have boobs.
Size D.
This does not mean I am a size 14 or above.
I am a size 6.
You design a LOT of clothes in this size. I know this because when I wander into my local clothing emporium - Kohls - your fashions are the first thing to greet me. There they stand - beautiful mannequins decked out in all their Vera Wang glory.
Those mannequins look great in your clothes.
So great that I almost always take the bait, grab 5 or 6 pieces and head for the fitting rooms.
I don article after article of clothing only to find that each one:
hangs wrong,
sits wrong,
drapes wrong,
and just generally DOES NOT WORK on my body.
I actually bought a robe once - big mistake.
Because it was a robe, I just assumed it would fit fine with no need to try it on. I mean - what can go wrong with a robe, for Pete's sake?!
What can go wrong is that the darn thing won't stay closed.
I've tied it with both the little belts you've attached - inside and out - to no avail. It just keeps coming open.
In, you guessed it, the boob area.
Husband is happy - me, not so much.
Maybe the real problem here is those store mannequins. Maybe you have surrounded yourself with fashion models of mannequin-esque stature and flat chestedness.
Then again, I've seen pictures of you and you're no "D cup" yourself so maybe you just design clothes that will look good on you and people who are built like you.
Which would be perfectly fine if you were content to tailor your product (no pun intended) to a niche clientele.
But when you boldly market your wares to a big chain like Kohls (headquartered in Wisconsin - one of the "full figured" capitols of the US) I really feel someone needs to call this problem to your attention.
Because when your clothes look awful on us we take it personally.
You're famous.
You design for stars.
We feel as though you couldn't possibly be at fault with all your massive designer skills.
The problem must be us.
Maybe we need to go on a diet.
So I did that.
Lost 20 pounds.
Went from a size 10 back to my college size 6.
Didn't help a bit.
Because my size is actually NOT the problem.
The problem is the boobs and the fact that your clothes simply are NOT designed to accommodate them.
I'm done blaming myself.
I blame you.
And until you come up with something that takes my bust into account I'm afraid I have to be done with you.
You may think you don't need me or my business. That's your prerogative.
But you're missing a BIG market.
Pun intended.
Anne
©Copyright 2020 Anne Morse Hambrock All Rights Reserved
If you enjoy Anne & God illustrated poems please visit anneandgod.com and if you would like to buy the Anne & God book collection please visit the store in the menu bar up above.
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