Am I Manic Depressive?

 

I know we don't call it manic depressive anymore - the correct term is now "bipolar". 

When does one cross the line from "crazy creative person" to "manic depressive" person?

Because I really don't think I am suffering from the classic M/D disorder that haunted Oscar Levant. I'm more like every creative person I've ever met - we tend to have our fingers in too many pies and a list of unfinished projects. It's not that we get fed up with the project in hand as much as a situation where we get another idea or inspiration at the same time and know that if we don't get it down on paper or launched in some way, we will lose the idea forever.

 So we hop from project to project and thing to thing because we have too many ideas to stick with only one. And we tend to have phases where we are really, really creative, burning up all kinds of inspired energy, followed by the need for some truly good long naps.

I once started a crewel embroidery while engaged to one gentleman, only to set the whole thing aside - hoop and all - for 4 years. I picked it up again  and finished it when I was married to John, the previous gentleman having become an ex-fiance. I didn't stop the project for any reason more complex than the fact that I started knitting instead. (Note: when you set an embroidery project aside for 4 years and don't take it off the hoop or protect it in any way, you get a finished piece that has a giant dirty ring across the zone where the hoop was.) 

I have done this a lot over the course of my life which is why there are so many things listed under the "hats I wear" tab. Some phases have lasted longer than others - Glass Blowing was a 4 year phase,  Ballet was a 12 year pursuit, Working in Cartooning is in its 6th year, and Harp has been a lifelong career of over 35 years. Various other hobbies like knitting have popped in and out for over 25 years. When it comes to things like knitting, tatting, and painting I tend to focus on one at a time for as many months as I feel so inclined.

I have enjoyed this sort of up and down existence when it comes to my various hobbies. 

But the latest phase - the one in which I spend a bajillion hours on the internet blogging and socially networking - is different. It's a lot harder to pick up and put down. Especially the blogs that are supposed to be supporting the business parts of my life - harp and cartooning. To get anything going of enough consequence to attract regular readers and eventually advertising it feels as it one has to be online ALL THE TIME.

And it's wearing me out.

And making me feel manic depressive.

This business of being in touch with everybody all the time starts out fun - it's nice to interact with people and see and hear what they are up to - but it then devolves into something overwhelming. I feel guilty if I step away - as if I am being a bad friend to those with whom I am in regular contact. But there is simply no way to keep track of all the pithy little comments my friends are making on twitter, facebook, google+ and various websites.

It's like a cocktail party that never, ever ends.

And it leaves me doing this bipolar sort of blitz socializing followed by periods of profound silence. 

So, maybe when it comes to the internet I am a little manic depressive....

How about you? 

Comments

[Ray Tyler]

When I read your post I immediately thought of myself. My biggest area of concern has also been the internet. It has not been the social side. Rather, it has been the "next big thing" which will cure all your money troubles.
I have bought them all. Money wise the only thing that has happened is a lot less money.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar for many years. However, I don't think I cane offer this as proof as to whether or not you are bipolar. The only way tho be sure is to undergo a psychiatric examination.